It's raining today. And I feel tired and a bit muted. And pensive. I worked on cleaning out my office last night, and it was difficult for me even though deep down I am happy to be leaving. But I'm also not happy to be leaving. I didn't make the choice to leave; I am being kicked out. But, still, some of my best friends work here and I will desperately miss being able to run into their offices to share the latest funny story, upset or gossip.
I had an incredibly difficult time going home last night. I felt that maybe I should sit a vigil in my office until the first rays of light began to shine through the window. Sit by the side of my dead job to say goodbye one last time.
My significant other can't understand my angst. "It's just a job." I suppose it is, that's true, but for a number of years now it's also been a big part of my identity. So, at the end of today, I am going to walk out of here a new Malina. Maybe the sun will be shining by then.
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